As Dolly Parton once said, “There’s a heart beneath the boobs and a brain beneath the wig”
So why am I so turned off about wearing a wig? Is it the fact that it looks soooo obvious, or is it that I’m so paranoid that I’ll go out wearing it backwards by mistake.
And I’m constantly reminded about the story I was once told about the lady on a train in Melbourne who was wearing a wig and it got stuck to the velcro on the guys jacket next to her. You can imagine what happened when he got up to get off at his stop.
Needless to say when I first got sick back in 2006, my Besty Troops took me out for some wig shopping. It was desperately sad but funny at the same time. Off we went into the city and learnt about the world of wigs. The first thing we learnt was that every wig has a name. Not short brown bob, or long blonde curl. Amongst others, there were, Romance, Hagnas, Betty Boo, Patricia and Sharon.
I chose Carol, a little blonde flicky thing, I took it home tried it on and I think it took 3-7 minutes before I plonked it in Sienna’s dress up basket. She was 1 ½ at the time, so if she was ever invited to an ‘Adams Family Party’ she could go a ‘Cousin It’.
The only other time I bought a wig was back in 2006 when the Braveman had his birthday. I was still in the middle of chemo and we were in need of a party, something positive to celebrate.
And that’s when ‘Affair’ was purchased. A wild wig, not only with a sultry name, but with a crazy auburn colour. In my chemo induced state I thought I’d look pretty raunchy. It was the first time we had been out in a long time, I was still feeling very sick but wanted to make an effort for my Braveman.
I even got a makeup artist in to draw on my eyebrows and stick some eyelashes on.
We had drinks at our house with friends and then out to a restaurant for dinner.
You know when you greet someone at the door and their smile turns into a half smile quiver and their eyes drift from yours to the floor. And you can see they’re trying so hard not to mouth the words, “Hi Rach it’s great to see you looking so wig” Well I should have realised, something just wasn’t looking right.
I’M NOT A WIG PERSON!
The next day when I saw the party photos, all I could think of was two words……. “DRAG QUEEN”. And a bad one at that!
So since then, no wigs, it will have to be scarves and big sunnies.
It’s very hard to lose your hair no matter how many times it happens to you. The chemo is lethal and it takes away a lot of self-esteem and dignity as a woman. But I know it’s there to take away the other stuff and I have to keep reminding myself of that.
And during the times I’m at home just getting around in my baldness I might walk past a mirror and catch myself thinking, “Oh George Colombaris from Master Chef has come for a visit, how nice.”
So thanks Dolly for your quote, but it’s been my Boobs that have got me into trouble in the first place and I’ll leave the wig thing to you. If anyone can pull a wig off it’s you, not this mum from the burbs!